The War of Love
by laugh4life
Summary: Enticing story about the love triangle between Elena, Stefan & Damon, and who really loves who. Set after episode 3X14; Elena's POV. DELENA! Rated T just in case. Please try it, and R&R!


**Set after 3X14, this story describes a lot of what is happening to Elena, and is going to turn off into a new story and new plot line if I end up continuing. ****One-shot right now. Maybe it'll eventually turn into something more. Just as a heads up, this chapter is mostly introductory, so there are a lot of thoughts portrayed throughout it. Also, Jenna is alive in this story. I'm so glad I could get it out before this week's episode - can't wait! Hope you like it. ****Please read & review!**

* * *

><p><strong>Elena's POV<strong>

The wind fiercely blows across my face, slashing my skin in the darkness of the night. I shiver in the frigid air. Tucking my burning cold hands into the warm pockets of my coat, I stare out into the night evermore. My eyes stare out into nothingness, and the only thing that seems alive are the shining stars in the pitch black sky. With my jaw set in a locked expression, I recall the events of tonight.

For someone who has been in the otherworld for such a long period of time, a thousand years, seems so mysteriously modern, as though she adapted throughout time rather than just in a few hours. Esther seems kind, but I'm still hesitant to trust such a woman_. _The thing that mostly struck me as odd was that she was so intent on killing her only children. She's a mother. Shouldn't a mother love her children more than ever wanting to kill them? My stomach churns as I think about their fates that I've just handed them. With our arrangement, I just sent her children to their final deaths. Did they really deserve it that much? No matter how much I hate Klaus for what he has done to me, my ancestors, and people before us, do his siblings really deserve the same terrible fate as him?

I wonder. Why couldn't Esther just bind Klaus and his worst siblings together? If the others are only along for the ride, if they have better souls than Klaus, shouldn't they have their free will to choose whether they live or die? Or shouldn't they?

Tonight has been a mass blur of false assumption and negative feelings.

I'd guessed that Esther wanted to kill me, just like Klaus. But she claims that she is our ally. Should I trust her, or not? I trusted Elijah at one point, but he deserted us for his family? Will Esther do the same once she realizes how much she has missed them after a thousand years in the coffin? My doubt is still there although she gave me valid reasons for being on our side.

I feel terrible for what I said to Damon, how I threw him away like that. His feelings are as important to me as Stefan's are. I fully regret what I said, but the problem is that I don't know if he'll ever love or trust me again. And that could be a serious one.

Stefan destroyed my withering hope for us once and for all. He'd confirmed what I'd never desired to be true. That we were over.

When I had said that I'd misspoken about something to Damon, he admitted that he had also said something he did not mean. In that moment, my hopes rose. I had wished that he was talking about when he told me that nothing is more important than killing Klaus. The moment he had told me that, my heart had dissolved; my hope for him had been completely lost. But when he said that one simple sentence, that he had misspoken earlier that night, I had felt my heart beating expectantly again, only to be let down.

No, tonight was not a good night.

"Stefan, why do you keep doing this to us?" I whisper hopelessly into the dark sky, wishing that he was by my side like he always used to be. All I want is to be held by him, to know that I am safe. On the other hand, the crazy thing is that it isn't necessarily Stefan I want to be holding me. The sound of him by me brings shudders, and truthfully scares me a little bit.

After that incident just a few nights ago, I haven't been able to fully let myself trust Stefan in any way. He's reckless. Careless. Not at all like his sweet self used to be. He's more monstrous than ever.

He attempted to drive me off the same bridge that I was terrified to step foot on for months. I was deathly afraid of even just the name. He knew this, and yet he still tortured me in the worst way possible by threatening me with death in a wisp of a memory. He tried to kill me where I had almost been killed only six months earlier. But worse than that, my parents had died there. Still, he was heartless enough to ignore it all, ignore my feelings and thoughts, and commit my murder right there.

These past few days have been a living hell just by looking him in the face after what he did to me.

Yet he's also just as sweet when he wants to be, although that is exactly the problem.

Ever since signing up to be Klaus' minion, he has convinced himself that it is better not to let in his feelings like he has been doing for so long. He now thinks that it would hurt to let his humanity in. He admitted to me tonight that "If I let myself care, all I feel is pain."

Putting a hand to my lips, I touch them softly, remembering all those humanly moments we shared barely a month ago. How everything has changed so quickly. What I'd give to go back to then. And yet, I still am glad that we've progressed as we have. If we hadn't I may never have learned that Damon loves me, and he may never have admitted it at all.

If we had never taken the path we have, I may never have admitted the same thing to myself. I might not have ever needed to sort out my feelings for the two, and to realize that I love Stefan. But that I also love Damon just as equally.

The stupidest thing of all is that I'd promised myself when I heard their history that I'd never be Katherine, that I'd never mess with both of the brothers. And yet, look what I'm doing right now.

"Elena?" A voice interrupts my thoughts and I swivel to face the person behind me.

Her eyes are startled at my sudden movement, and it looks as if she's highly uncomfortable. I take a step backward as I glance at my aunt. Sighing, I say, "Don't even ask."

Jenna's lips are pursed in annoyance. My heart sinks as I realize that I've once again pushed her away, and that all she was doing was trying to connect with me better, trying to help me in that parental way that she is desperately trying to finally achieve. Feeling remorse seeping into my bones, I stand there awkwardly, my arms hugging my chest in the cold air. She stares at me for a few moments, her blue eyes searching my brown ones. It almost seems like she knows more than she's letting on as she stares at me with knowing eyes.

Squirming under her gaze, I move toward the wooden swing on the eggshell-white porch as I let my mind wander.

Finally, Jenna speaks, "What is wrong with you and Stefan? You used to be so close; it doesn't look like that any more. Elena, tell me the truth," She demands, her voice taking on that parental note that appears whenever she really wants something. She continues to interrogate me when I don't answer. "Is it something to do with this _situation_ you're in? No, don't even try to play innocent, Elena; I know what is going on here."

"You do?" I squeak, fear creeping into my heart. Jenna knows about this? She knows that the Originals are in town? She knows about vampires at all? Does she know who, or what, Bonnie is? And Caroline? But how? We've done so much to try to keep her in the dark. What could we possibly have done wrong?

"Of course," She sympathizes, bending over to hug me. I lean into her solid body and hug her as she wanted, my eyes scared and watchful over her shoulder. "You're growing apart. People do that, you know. And just so that you know, I'm still not okay with Damon kissing you that one time. Is anything going on there that might be impacting Stefan and your relationship?"

I feel my cheeks heat up as the blood rushes to them, making me blush. I smile sheepishly, "No. Well, maybe. I don't really know right now."

Jenna looks at me curiously again and then shakes her head. She says, "Whatever. You do know that you can talk to me if you need to. I'll be inside; Ric is coming over for dinner later. If you want to, you can invite Stefan, but you don't have to if you don't want to."

Nodding, I watch her slim figure disappear into the house. When the door shuts with a profound click, I drop my head into my hands as I puzzle over what I should do now.

What a position to be in.

My heart is torn so evenly. If only the two of them were one person - it would make all of this so much easier. But sadly, they are not.

As the moon rises in the dark of the night, casting a soft glow over everything below, I sit there in the calm air and agonize over what I want. I know that the thing that will make me happiest - and them happiest - is if I choose whichever one of them that I truly want the most.

The problem is that while I may have known who I wanted the most just two weeks ago and without hesitation would have said Stefan, I'm not so sure anymore. I keep imagining Damon's soft, warm lips on mine those few times we shared a kiss. When I kissed him as I thought he was dying. When he kissed me just a few days ago because we shared a moment.

I cannot, no matter how hard I try, get his gorgeous icy blue eyes out of my mind. I couldn't forget his raven black hair no matter what; even death wouldn't change that. But despite how much Stefan has recently done to harm me, there a living part of me that still knows that he can be the way he was before, no matter how many times he denies it. I know him inside out. And I want him. I want his stunning, piercing green eyes that seem to know my soul and are kind to me most of the times he sees me. When he is himself, he's caring and sweet, and that is how I love him. I want him so badly. However, I want his brother too. Oh, why can't I have them both? It would make everything so much easier.

Sighing in defeat, I close my eyes, letting my back slouch as I lean on the rough wooden banister of the porch.

"Can I join you?" A voice says steadily but sadly.

I don't need to open my eyes to recognize his beautiful voice.

I reply, "Sure." Without looking up, I sense his body drop next to mine on the porch. All I can do is imagine how amazing it would be if he kissed me again.

"Some day, huh?" Damon asks, trying to make conversation.

Opening my eyes, I look into his sympathetic face with fear and sadness. Its a wonder that he showed up here tonight at all. I would have assumed he'd be drunk right now, after what he thought I'd said to him. I still have yet to explain that I didn't mean it.

Feeling tears well up in my eyes, I open my mouth to tell him that I still love him. Suddenly, after just the few first words, a wobbly "I'm sorry," I break down and the whole story comes spilling out of my lips. For minutes, I rant on about how sorry I am, and how I wish I wasn't in this situation. I tell him how I wish our lives were different, how I wish that we met under better circumstances. I spill every thought that I've had in the last couple weeks, all of my words rushing to get out of my mind as fast as they can.

At last, I'm done, and I stare at him wide-eyed as he processes what I just said.

He takes my hand and pulls me closer to him, slowly, so that I can choose to jump away if I wished. But I don't. In fact, I cling to him tighter as the rivers of wetness flow down my fragile cheeks and onto his shirt. His hand in my hair is calming, his tough tranquilizing. I can't get enough of him.

And when he kisses me, I know that I'm in heaven.

In that moment, I realize that he is what I want. He is all I want. I don't want his brother like I used to. I realize now that I'm over Stefan, and that I'm not likely to go down that mistake of a path again.

Damon and I. Now and forever.

Finally, our lips part, both of us gasping for air as we gaze at each other happily. I think that I've finally found the person I've been looking for all along. Nothing could make me happier. Ever.


End file.
